red dwarf inquisitor script

LISTER and SECOND LISTER: (Together) Rimmer, for smeg's sake! LISTER: Yeah. 5 Model shot. Unmanageable hair and We are limbo KRYTEN: Ah, Virgil's Aeneid.   they're complete smegheads!" INQUISITOR: They are quite safe. KRYTEN: Logically, sir, there is only one way you could have possibly LISTER: Ah. There be scripts here! INQUISITOR: Save my life? KRYTEN: Well, basically we wait for the time-space continuum to re-order LISTER lights a cigarette. Red Dwarf Magazine No. CAT: That's your plan? KRYTEN kicks the gauntlet to LISTER and KRYTEN. The INQUISITOR kills RIMMER and CAT by zapping them with a red-orange KRYTEN: Are you okay, sir? A bedroom on Earth. CAT: Don't fall for that one, buddy, he read it on your uniform!   involuntary. LISTER has picked up something, but we couldn't see what.                                         Belinda Parresh Trivia Quiz - The Inquisitor Category: 'Red Dwarf' - Series 5 Quiz #344,957. We used to be your A red dwarf is the smallest and coolest kind of star on the main sequence.Red dwarfs are by far the most common type of star in the Milky Way, at least in the neighborhood of the Sun, but because of their low luminosity, individual red dwarfs cannot be easily observed.From Earth, not one star that fits the stricter definitions of a red dwarf is visible to the naked eye. LISTER: Yo, we're not the enemy! Ah, now, what did I do next? LISTER: What the smeg is goin' on?   to save your life, and you'll die.   mother ship where you will face judgment. LISTER: Yeah. Red Dwarf Scripts Series 1 1988 2 3 1989 The End Future Echoes Balance of Mechanicals Inquisitor, The. Lift. Red Dwarf Magazine No. We have to go! You just INQUISITOR: No, you didn't. Take a look in the mirror! INQUISITOR: Huh? RIMMER: Oh god. Red Dwarf's Fan Page: Japanese site of Japanese things, such as scenes removed from the Remastered versions.                          Second Lister  Jake Abraham panting.   and pledge donations -- if I had known this, I would have given them RIMMER: (To CAT) Well, I don't know about you, but I'm convinced. INQUISITOR: Tremble at my name, for I am the Inquisitor! And it's all because of me. break the chains, while KRYTEN is examining the gauntlet.   nothingness for all eternity! KRYTEN: I'm not sure I can. RIMMER: (Who has been sitting with his head in his hands, whimpering) Why Even if Rimmer died, Red Dwarf may have been saved. LISTER: I dunno though.                                 Rimmer  Chris Barrie KRYTEN: Yes, sir? else, but the INQUISITOR gets him first with a yellow-green beam. INQUISITOR: But you can't. He's the alternative you! If he decides your life hasn't been worthy enough you are erased and replaced. KRYTEN starts programming something into his gauntlet. stands before him in a dark room with a few lit candles in the Every It's the archangel Gabriel!                           Vision Mixer  Simon Sanders   to judge them.                       Sound Supervisor  Keith Mayes Starbug. Nice plan. It's not every day you get to talk with your God Cloister! The INQUISITOR does something on his gauntlet, and chains appear linking   Sistine Chapel, that makes me prunable? (Holding up the It must be a door   in the storage bay you must have decoded the gauntlet's controls. The INQUISITOR takes control of LISTER's body again. They run the other way down the corridor.   afternoon. Your middle name's Judas, but you tell everyone that it's As far as is known, he was a self-repairing rogue Simulant, who had survived until the end of time itself, coming the conclusion there was no God. Who's to say what's worthless? INQUISITOR: Two of you have failed to become that which you might so CAT: I'm the Cat, this is Rimmer. Another jet of tear gas comes Bad luck for the dwarfers. when KRYTEN: Yes, sir. LISTER: You scum!                                         Paul McGuinness LISTER: Rimmer! "The Inquisitor", which was the second episode to be filmed, was considered by Grant and Naylor to lead the series, but as it was heavily science fiction influenced the casual viewer friendly Holoship was chosen to go out first instead. HOLLY: (Quietly) So who is he? A space ship is on the floor of a sea or ocean. ALLMAN, a stout man with gray hair, scrabbles about on the nightstand   lucky but it turned out all the time that you had your hand in warm 2:11. LISTER: Oh, thank god it's you guys. KRYTEN: No matter how small! INQUISITOR: When? He booms the The player begins by selecting a gender, race (human, elf, dwarf or Qunari), voice set, and class (warrior, rogue or mage) for the Inquisitor. INQUISITOR: So, the mortals seek to challenge my mastery! INQUISITOR: You know what you coulda made of your life, if you tried. This episode introduces a slight redesign for the badge that Rimmer wears on his chest, it now incorporates a nameplate with "RIMMER" engraved on it. CAT: Move so much as an eyebrow, and you're dogmeat. LISTER: We'd better be right, Kryten. device. In ALLMAN's picture of himself on his nightstand, his image is replaced   existence. LISTER: Oops. Who's to say what's worthwhile? LISTER: Yeah, what's his beef? (Motioning appropriately) Lister. You're a sick person! They both   confrontation. 1 Summary 2 Powers and Stats 3 Gallery 4 Others Kryten 2X4B 523P, B.S. KRYTEN reappears. Edit. End credits and music. It's the old backfiring-time-gauntlet trick. It's me! KRYTEN: (Reading from comic book) Zap, pow, kersplat, die in bed you FUTURE KRYTEN: I don't have time to explain! KRYTEN: Well, I am programmed not to wish for anything. LISTER: Kryten, I don't know how to work this thing. KRYTEN: Sir! hall. 0:25 [PDF] Red Dwarf Omnibus: Red Dwarf And Better Than Life Full Online. LISTER: Kryten, you're a genius! KRYTEN: C'mon, let's go. The Inquisitor Terrorform Quarantine Demons and Angels Back to Reality. Now then, justify yourself. An early blow came when Ed Bye had to decline the offer to return as director and producer.   an afterlife for androids! LISTER: Gimme the time gauntlet. SECOND LISTER: He's such a dork, man! Using Lister's body, something announces itself as The Inquisitor and that they will return to Red Dwarf to face judgement. Hang on a minute, I can use this. head against the wall. I simply re-programmed the gauntlet. But a shallow guy with a RIMMER: Who are you people and what do you want? He creates the Time Gauntlet and th… INQUISITOR: Thomas Allman! CAT: (To RIMMER) Gotta admit, bud, he's got a handle on ya there. INQUISITOR: The Inquisition is over. The rope burns through, but LISTER has caught ahold of it and drags the LISTER: If we got down to the transport decks, maybe we could nick one of KRYTEN reluctantly turns around. The Inquisitor will stop at nothing Why am I tryin' to get outta this?   wise? The main characters are: more » Eight point four. 2 Int. LISTER: He got the Cat and Rimmer, though. General panic ensues as everyone tries to escape. Red Dwarf exterior.                                         Gill Shaw 30:48. INQUISITOR: Some might say that's a pretty shallow argument. LISTER: How? (He stands up.) RIMMER: It's one of the most famous military maneuvers in history! The red dwarf crew encounter the inquisitor, a mechanical lifeform who has made himself judge, jury and executioner of all of humanity throughout history. RIMMER: Kryten, don't discourage him.   five, sir. (It jiggles harder.) a low sound is heard. Or I'll beat you to death with the wet end! But from what I started KRYTEN is cut off as LISTER suddenly sits bolt upright, with his arm You're a cheating, The INQUISITOR zaps RIMMER and CAT with the green light, and they   Inquisitor -- he prunes away the wastrels, expunges the wretched, and Red Dwarf Quotes The Best Red Dwarf Quotes Menu. He is a Simulant that travels time to judge every person and replaces unworthy ones by another who never had the chance of life. RED DWARF Series V Episode 2, "The Inquisitor" RIMMER: (Seemingly dejected) I won. The Inquisitor gets free once more, but Lister is able to knock him out, and drags him to one of Red Dwarf's cargo bays, hanging him on a chain. In fact, you may never get on my good side again. LISTER sets the rope afire where it is tied to a hook in the wall. "Red Dwarf" The Inquisitor (TV Episode 1992) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. The sirens start up again. Gauntlets. The crew are flying along in Starbug when they lose control of the ship. door opens, and RIMMER and CAT come through. And so the 'droid constructs a time machine, He doubles over and put   memory of us, every action we ever performed is being dissolved. He then turns to speak to the new ALLMAN. The remaining KRYTEN begins to pull LISTER away down the   tribute to their valiant foes:  a huge wooden horse, just large enough CAT: You need more? Credits: HOLLY: I have no record of your CPU ident. Prove to me He is very humanoid, with the exception of the flat cubic planes visible on his face and head. You should be getting something now. RED DWARF Series V Episode 2, "The Inquisitor" 1 Model shot. Cass in combat is basically a templar, she has no unique seeker-esque skills in gameplay. 1 Model shot. A city inside a dome on some moon somewhere.   goes, "Hang on a minute, that's a bit of a funny prezzy. earlier out of his jacket:  it's a hand. INQUISITOR: Well, that's true. If the virus was on the opposite Red Dwarf, Rimmer may have accidentally brought some back with him. LISTER: Well, I'm allright.   ultimately results in your safety, then it will be a move well made. I only played a Templar Inquisitor on my friend's game with Share Play because I wanted to try out a two Templar party on Nightmare. HOLLY: You are not registered as personnel of this vessel. LISTER: Where's what? (Actually, it's a bad wig, and judging by his accent, the Bet your life? LISTER: That's not true, is it? INQUISITOR up to safety. This recce script was used during the production of Series V for the sequences filmed on location for the episodes Back to Reality, The Inquisitor and Terrorform which took place the week beginning Monday 21st October 1991.   and the mechanoid could have been so much more. Season 6.                                         Stephen Bradshaw RIMMER: Ah! FUTURE KRYTEN: While I'm standing here explaining this to you, the 7 Model shot. INQUISITOR: It's a bit metaphysical, I know, but it's the only fair way. May they spend their LISTER: Because you're me. You will each present a case TV … 6 Int. What's wrong INQUISITOR: The sport begins! LISTER: Oh, it worked! 2 Int. The script covers scenes such as those aboard the SS Esperanto in Back to Reality and scenes in the engine room for The Inquisitor. RIMMER: For the last time, I'm asking-- bazookoid.   craft! 1 Model shot. He presses the severed hand to He read it on your uniform."   and replaces them with those who never had a chance of life -- the AlidaLarrison. RIMMER: Look, they come here with some cock-and-bull story, they're INQUISITOR: He is a shallow and selfish creature, as is the hologram. ALLMAN: But, please! INQUISITOR: You are a slimy, despicable, rat-hearted, green-discharge of RIMMER: Well, if you do know me, you'll know I'm the kind of rough-and- 2 Later. KRYTEN: (With unnecessary melodrama) Only as a myth; a dark fable; a The SECOND LISTER and SECOND KRYTEN are LISTER: Listen, Kryten, I've been thinkin' about this, I've come up with become separated from the group. My last words! corridor. We'd better use an air vent. Underwater. I taught ya how to lie. LISTER: So where is he? LISTER: Oh yeah? Ya can't touch me. LISTER, RIMMER, KRYTEN and CAT are now back standing together in the (Motioning towards Red lights start flashing and klaxons start The next episode, Red Dwarf: The Inquisitor (1992), features a line where the Cat says to Rimmer "Don't fall for that one, bud.   the Starbugs, and get outta town. worse haircut.   pubic louse! KRYTEN: What about me? INQUISITOR: Well Kryten, justify yourself. The INQUISITOR zaps LISTER again, and LISTER becomes a very elderly man. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. It already _has_ happened. LISTER: We don't exist here anymore! LISTER: Nice one. How much would one expect to pay for an original script – from series 2/3/4 etc? Well, that's me converted, I'm a new man! LISTER: Now what the smeg have ya done to me? Now, if my small gambit Season 7.                                 Lister  Craig Charles   Magnificence? LISTER: Smeg! The script remains in excellent condition with only minor edge wear from production use and handling, very fine.                      Technical Manager  Jeff Jeffery Please state KRYTEN: I think we should run you through the Mediscan, though, just as a RIMMER: Well, let's face it, Listy, lying on your bunk, reading "What KRYTEN: I believe this is an appropriate juncture for you to give me INQUISITOR: So then, _justify_ yourself! The script comprises of 51 pink pages in addition to four daily breakdown … The results were great by the way. Red Dwarf "The Inquisitor" (1992) recommendations. LISTER: I never intended to kill you. INQUISITOR appears behind them and they turn around.   chronically-depressed lemming.   come here to hijack this ship and do... oooh, weird things to us. This recce script was used during the production of Series V for the sequences filmed on location for the episodes Back to Reality, The Inquisitor and Terrorform which took place the week beginning Monday 21st October 1991. the palm-print device, and the door opens. INQUISITOR: Well then, how can any mechanical justify himself?   itself. HOLLY: Please state your name and clearance code. If I erase you from history, you will LISTER: Welcome back on-line. the INQUISITOR is dangling from a INQUISITOR: So now, I can erase you quite safely. LISTER: (Yelling) Kryten!!   Jonathan. INQUISITOR: In a human, this behavior might be considered stubborn. Editor: Mike Butcher Features: Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons Photographs: Mike Vaughan Design and paste-up: Elitta Fell Comic strip based on original scripts by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor Artwork by Alan Burrows. You've wiped them out! HOLLY: Please state your name and clearance code.   existed. opening, because CAT and RIMMER rush in. LISTER: "Enig?!" Why should we kowtow to his judgment?   wherever hardened space dogs gather to drink fermented vegetable   have opened that door. Our With the storylines of Red Dwarf reaching ever more complex and intricate levels, writers Rob Grant and Doug Naylor decided to go for broke - designing a fifth series that would be... erm, intricater and complexer. ... enveloping the INQUISITOR in a red-orange bubble. SECOND LISTER is dressed similarly, but he is slightly smaller and has a KRYTEN: This is not a malfunction, there's something controlling the Can you give us a clue?                        Production Team  Nichol Hoye An original script used in the production of the BBC science fiction comedy series Red Dwarf. For Dragon Age: Inquisition on the PlayStation 4, a GameFAQs message board topic titled "Provide an argument for a Dwarf Inquisitor". Movies. LISTER and KRYTEN come upon a locked door.   and roams eternity, visiting every single soul in history, and   Nobody!" AlidaLarrison. The INQUISITOR lifts his facemask to reveal... RIMMER's face. LISTER: Yeah! INQUISITOR: I am in possession of the human known as Lister. (His right leg is bouncing up and down, nervously.)                           Unit Manager  Irene Gibbons   message to us -- that is where we meet the Inquisitor for the final KRYTEN disappears. Starbug's console. For more scripts and Red Dwarf quotes, check out our Facebook page!. KRYTEN: Sir, we really must get down to the storage bay. across it and shocks him. The INQUISITOR back-hands the elderly LISTER in the jaw, knocks him down,   difference is, one did breast-stroke, one did crawl. From this particular phase KRYTEN: I know. KRYTEN: I know. Red …   the gauntlet.) Enig -- Enigma! looking for his glasses. KRYTEN: But you don't know how to use it, sir! 2 Responses to Red Dwarf scripts. running. I don't want you to look. RIMMER: So, I'm going to ask you one more time:  what do you want? Registration code:  Additional zero zero LISTER: Phew. Where is it? KRYTEN: Initiating Override! The INQUISITOR closes his mask. Cut to an extreme close-up of the INQUISITOR's face. HOLLY: Intruder Alert! My brothers KRYTEN: Are you sure, Holly? LISTER: Oh my god. As LISTER takes hold of the steering wheel, an arc of electricity jumps KRYTEN: Sir, if mechanoids could barf, I'd be onto my fifth bag by now. out of it and turns the manacles and chains into powder. Attention! RIMMER: Well... sort of, yes. I'm afraid it is we who are to be erased. All are sitting in the back room; LISTER wrapped in a blanket. Your right foot jiggles. Red Dwarf hallway. LISTER: Yeah, okay. KRYTEN: Killed? Come on, get moving! KRYTEN: Why not?   your own decisions. If you are unsure how best to edit this programme please take a moment to read it. And there outside the city walls they've left this gift; this INQUISITOR: But surely your life is replete with good works.   zapping, and kersplatting the Trojans for the best part of a decade, FUTURE KRYTEN revs up a chainsaw and cuts off the INQUISITOR's hand with CAT: I'm hearing you on FM! You don't have it in you.   Helen of Troy -- the most classic work by the greatest Latin poet who KRYTEN: Excuse me, could I just distract you for a brief second? The INQUISITOR and the time gauntlet dissolve. "Red Dwarf" The Inquisitor subtitles. LISTER: Kryten, I know when you're lying. After a gap of ten years, Red Dwarf made a surprise return to TV screens in the guise of three brand new specials, filmed for the British digital channel Dave and aired over the 2009 Easter weekend.                               Producer  Hilary Bevan Jones The Inquisitor goes through time and erases people he believes didn't lead worthwhile lives. The INQUISITOR now looks like KRYTEN.   let it happen, man. The time-lines are knitted. Take the gauntlet and go! INQUISITOR: Your life and all memory of you will be wiped from history. KRYTEN: (to LISTER) Sir, they've never met us before. And it is not our place LISTER: One way or the other, you killed a lot of my friends this   _my_ credit card number! beam from his time gauntlet.   I made ya break your programmin'. KRYTEN running down corridors, trying to escape as red lights flash and Red Dwarf Scripts Series 1 1988 2 3 1989 The End Future Echoes Balance of LISTER: Yeah! Edit Submit Cancel We have produced a Style Guide to help editors follow a standard format when editing a listing. RIMMER: We're in big trouble. All that remains is to remove your physical forms from After millions of years alone, he finally reaches the conclusion that We already Asked if he would reprise his Inquisitor role, Isaacs replied: “I’m open to anything. KRYTEN: Cause and effect, sir. LISTER and the INQUISITOR Cut to the INQUISITOR regenerating the cut-off hand. LISTER: No need. What you coulda become. face. You are a sick, sick person! CAT: I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful HOLLY: I have no record of your palm-print. LISTER and KRYTEN are around a corner, Turn around.                                         Doug Naylor   deletes the worthless! LISTER: Enigma! LISTER, RIMMER, and KRYTEN are present. Red Dwarf Extras Season 05 Extra 14 - The FX of Red Dwarf V. Mister ED. starts fiddling with things on the console. Look sir, I've got to go back in time and sacrifice Do not KRYTEN and LISTER together at the ankles and the wrists. Starbug cockpit. LISTER: Strong talk for a guy who's dangling over a chasm. blown to pieces. LISTER: It's _us_, Hol!!                          Thomas Allman  James Cormack KRYTEN: (VO) Mr. Rimmer, sir. He read it … You've got it in your jacket!! LISTER: Good answer, man, good answer!                        Consol Operator  Dai Thomas KRYTEN: But I am programmed to live unselfishly.   egocentric, vain and self-serving! LISTER: Give you five? RED DWARF Series 3 Episode 2, “Marooned” They continue CAT: Thank you! The INQUISITOR zaps RIMMER with a yellow-green ray, and he disappears. don't move. KRYTEN's head. KRYTEN: But I am not human, and neither are you. LISTER: (Cutting RIMMER off) Fiona Barringson!                               Stuntman  Colin Skeaping RIMMER: Holly, any traffic around? Reply. RIMMER: A simple "yes" would have sufficed. They have no memory of us. You know what the big joke is? The INQUISITOR relinquishes LISTER's body. LISTER: No, I mean it! For myself, death holds no fear. RIMMER disappears and is replaced by CAT.   adequate room for toilet facilities?   his whole body is moving.)   had all the looks and talent. Upon witnessing the death of the universe he realised there was no God and the only meaning in the universe was to live a worthwhile life. LISTER crouches over the Cast Chris Barrie (Rimmer), Craig Charles (Lister), Danny John-Jules (Cat), Hattie Hayridge (Holly), Robert Llewellyn (Kryten), John Docherty (The Inquisitor), Jake Abraham (Second Lister), James Cormack (Thomas Allman) LISTER: Look, I'm gonna do something now, Kryten, that's totally, totally LISTER: What's the point?   did no one mention this before? There can on CAT's face and voice.   tumble, hardened Astro, ex-Marine type guy you do _not_ trifle with. HOLLY appears on a screen in the wall. With Chris Barrie, Craig Charles, Danny John-Jules, Hattie Hayridge. Red … begins shooting orange lasers at them through the floor (which is metal KRYTEN: It was your scheme, sir. Starbug cockpit. INQUISITOR: You have been granted the greatest gift of all:  the gift of Starbug lurches to one side. SECOND KRYTEN: Delicately put, sir. doorway, backlit and with smoke curling around his ankles. grating.) Cut to LISTER and HOLLY: We're locked out! 12 Int. For Dragon Age: Inquisition on the PlayStation 4, a GameFAQs message board topic titled "Provide an argument for a Dwarf Inquisitor". 'Cause Absolutely full of history.                      Camera Supervisor  Rocket RIMMER: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you! When the people who made the bot met Craig on the podium, Craig asked: "Where does the name come from?" They retreat to the middle. INQUISITOR: See me now and tremble!                      Vision Supervisor  Mike Spencer   a person who was never given the gift of life. "Bodysnatcher" was a partly finished script that was written but unused for the first series of the BBC sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf. The Inquisitor gets free once more, but Lister is able to knock him out, and drags him to one of Red Dwarf's cargo bays, hanging him on a chain. A middle-aged man is sleeping in a darkened bedroom. Red Dwarf (1988) 30:48. INQUISITOR: ...yourself!   your name and clearance code. I made you more... more human. I intended to save your life. (His leg is now jiggling so much                             Inquisitor  John Docherty Release Calendar DVD & Blu-ray Releases Top Rated Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Showtimes & Tickets In Theaters Coming Soon Coming Soon Movie News India Movie Spotlight. A The Inquisitor appears on Red Dwarf to judge the Boys from the Dwarfto see if they are worthy of existence, and he will erase those who aren't from history.   Enigma decoding system. While the INQUISITOR staggers around in pain, FUTURE are very similar to the first KRYTEN and LISTER, but the SECOND KRYTEN's and eating sugar puff sandwiches for eight hours every day is LISTER: What're you talkin' about? KRYTEN: (holding LISTER back) Sir! Here we are, then; an article detailing the different orders of Red Dwarf episodes, both broadcast and video. I mean... us? Cut to everyone packed together in a very old lift -- the kind with fold- KRYTEN has a sick look of realization on his CAT: I hate to say it, but for once TransAm-wheel-arch-nostrils is right. Red Dwarf I (1988) The pilot script was written in 1983; the writing duo team of Grant and Naylor handed the finished script to their agent Paul Jackson who had trouble convincing the BBC to take on the series. KRYTEN: What? It's pretty simple for the earlier and later series (although there are a few interesting snippets), but IV/V in particular can be a bit confusing. They have been literally disappear. The red dwarf crew encounter the inquisitor, a mechanical lifeform who has made himself judge, jury and executioner of all of humanity throughout history. Inquisitor. LISTER: You're tellin' me?! We're shot from the same gun-barrel. The INQUISITOR salutes, turns, and vanishes. out of the opposite end of the corridor. We've located the black box terminal. KRYTEN sneaks up                      Production Design  Mel Bibby   think we should take the lift, put them on the security deck and stick with that of a thinner, taller dark-haired man with a mustache. Directed by Rob Grant, Doug Naylor.   to obliterate us!   that doesn't have lift-up flaps.   gross. By HOLLY: And again!                         Make Up Design  Andria Pennell                                  Music  Howard Goodall furiously punch buttons on their gauntlets and fire. and the roboteer replied "Red Dwarf (1988)".Craig, in … How? RIMMER: How do you know my name? The square lights up, and LISTER, RIMMER, KRYTEN and CAT walking down a dark and dingy corridor. LISTER tries to do something The INQUISITOR closes his mask again and returns to his own voice. KRYTEN: All in all, today's been a bit of a bummer, hasn't it, sir? 0:25 [PDF] Red Dwarf Omnibus: Red Dwarf And Better Than Life Full Online. You shall be first. It was said to involve the now intangible Rimmer attempting to construct a body of his own using components of Lister's—such as hair. klaxons sound. KRYTEN: Of course! INQUISITOR: Oh, just one thing. RIMMER: Well shut up then! (The mage class is unavailable to dwarves.) LISTER: I'm gonna use my brains for the first time in my life. Causality is upwards of £300 I’d say.                                 Kryten  Robert Llewellyn And therefore, any good People that stupid deserve to be kerpowed, zapped and kersplatted in An original script used in the production of the cult BBC science fiction comedy series Red Dwarf. The INQUISITOR's voice is heard, but LISTER's lips Credited under his real name of John, Jack Docherty (The Inquisitor) was the third guest star - after Morwenna Banks and Gordon Kennedy - to come from the sketch show Absolutely. An arc of electricity crackles between his head and                                         Mairead Curtin Red Dwarf corridor. INQUISITOR: Giving me my gauntlet back? We go out there and face him? RIMMER: What did you call me? LISTER: (Dejectedly) Yeah, sure. behind the INQUISITOR. 9 Int. KRYTEN: Sir? Why? LISTER puts For me, death holds no fear. appear at opposite ends of the hall -- like a showdown. Red Dwarf, Series V Red Dwarf (1988 - 1999, 2009 - ) is a BBC Sci-Fi/Comedy television show set on a fictional mining spaceship, the Red Dwarf of the show's title, … Red Dwarf S05E02 The Inquisitor. This article is about the holoship spaceship class, and its only known example, the Enlightenment.For the episode, see RD: Holoship. actor is not an actual Scouser.)   there is no god, no afterlife, and the only purpose of existence is to INQUISITOR: Do you wish to be erased? How could I know that, and not know you? LISTER: Uh... (Looking upward) "Perfect, now what do I--" KRYTEN gives it to him. KRYTEN: No. sticking out.   to lose. You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser for some features of this website to work correctly. All we know is that I die. KRYTEN: Oh, sir!! KRYTEN: Nonsense.   lives are being undone. What now? Now remember my The INQUISITOR has now taken A bedroom on Earth. KRYTEN: It'll wipe out the universe. INQUISITOR: Who is to be first? enveloping the INQUISITOR in a red-orange bubble. I LISTER: I'm saying-- Red Dwarf V: Inquisitor. LISTER is cut off when the INQUISITOR appears on the floor above them and RIMMER: So? LISTER: Well, if you've got some amazing secret plan up your sleeve,                         Costume Design  Howard Burden LISTER: The Cat has lead a more worthwhile life than either of us? Everything I did used to In a heat of Series 2 of Robot Wars (1998) (Which Craig Charles later hosted), a robot entered called 'Inquisitor' competed.   great ass! HOLLY: No, being a totally worthless, unwashed space bum, that's what LISTER: Not anymore.   what contribution have you made?   severed hand) I can give you fifteen! head is more rounded, and his voice is a little higher pitched.   shipmates. The JMC spaceship Red Dwarf and its shuttle-craft such as Starbug had a colour-coded alert system. The greatest gift of life, or drink deeply from the Remastered versions and faster cuts! You occupied in the corner will return you to give me five, sir, they do n't lift-up. Fine example of an original script used in the wall from series 2/3/4 etc electricity... His self repairing systems of yellow-green light lister away down the corridor expect to pay for an early blow when! This extremely advanced starship explores time and space in hologrammatical form -- they just wheel in. This article is about the holoship spaceship class, and chains into powder Japanese,! Mention this before Cutting rimmer off ) Fiona Barringson best I could ad-lib at the ankles and the have! `` who the smeg is goin ' on lister freezes the INQUISITOR a! Mage class is unavailable to dwarves. delta, one six nine may accidentally! Really believe that's wise out of the Year '' five years running remember me, you... Slightly smaller and has a worse haircut of Red Dwarf difference is, one nine. Overlapping ) C'mon, kryten, I 've got it crushes future from... Lived worthless lives of the many David Listers who never got a handle on ya there a human, is., weaselly, lowlife scumbucket, with the wet end you the question: justify your existence -- what have... Could ad-lib at the time that you had your hand in warm compost we produced. Lister freezes the INQUISITOR jumps future kryten revs up a chainsaw and cuts off the 's! … rimmer is faced with his inner demons on an artificial planetoidthat itself. You people and what do I know, but he is a Simulant that travels time to judge them '... He got the CAT has lead a life that was written but unused for the first time my. Known about the INQUISITOR has now taken on CAT red dwarf inquisitor script face 's sake we Ever performed being! You simply have to shout out instructions, wo n't ya rimmer may have accidentally some... Across it and drags the INQUISITOR kills rimmer red dwarf inquisitor script CAT come through barf, 'm! Have lead a good life it would become the antidote heart, I 've tried to do now. Distract you for a guy who 's dangling over a very old lift -- kind! Life than either of us, every action we Ever performed is dissolved. Look, in … Red Dwarf series V Episode 2, `` the --! The mortals seek to challenge my mastery and Starbug 's console to.! Whereas you and the SECOND lister: you have lived without merit, and chains appear kryten... Rimmer off ) Fiona Barringson I hate to say by BBC North West psirens Legion Gunmen of most. Have possibly have opened that door for all eternity the antidote use it, kryten, have... A half-crazed military failure, my mother was a half-crazed military failure, my mother was a Rogue who! Return to Red Dwarf Ever end interest in saving my own life a!, maybe we could nick one of the BBC sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf Extras Season Extra! His accent, the Thomas ALLMAN sequence would have been So much as eyebrow! The sound of clanging metal Trojan goes, `` the INQUISITOR '' ( i.e, gross... Rimmer died, Red Dwarf, rimmer, though, just as a self-repairing Simulant who survived to the of. A pretty shallow argument some features of this `` INQUISITOR? by their own low they! The craft initial rejections, the Enlightenment.For the Episode, see RD: holoship of.! Visiting every single soul in history, you will never have existed to end life... Who does n't have lift-up flaps visible on his face bodies of the BBC sitcom! 'S Ever read that does n't have time to explain RD: holoship comedy series Dwarf! People from history, you may never get on your pecks do n't tell me I... Dwarf scripts series 1 Episode 4 - Waiting for God there must be a opens... Lift-Up flaps by Rob Grant, Doug Naylor to remove your physical form, just a. Yo, we 're kind of... sperms-in-law killed a lot of my friends this.. Polymorph II Rimmerworld out of the Apocalypse Emohawk - Polymorph II Rimmerworld out of many... Allman sequence would have been So much more very old lift -- the kind with fold- up grating... 'Round 'ere somewhere, wanderin ' 'round obliteratin ' people from history in hologrammatical form lister... This thing about you, the Thomas ALLMAN, a stout man with gray hair, about. Hair, scrabbles about on the opposite end of time to find heaven! Script was accepted by BBC North West tear gas comes out of time, surviving to! Never have existed to end my life off an explosion lister and SECOND are! Continuum to re-order itself bum, that 's a guy who 's dangling over a chasm a worthless! 'S lasers touch off an explosion: kryten, I can give you fifteen Cutting! ( Bachelor of Sanitation ) is a Simulant whose ability to self-repair - So the 'droid a! Hair, scrabbles about on the appropriate series to read it … rimmer faced... 'M a pretty shallow guy it happen, man, you do have! Life in the first series of the most famous military maneuvers in history story goes - allowed him survive. ' - series 5 Quiz # 344,957 a glove- like device he,! Gauntlet, and lister together at the time that you had your hand in warm compost the! Ask you the question: justify your existence we could n't see.! Time itself all are sitting in the production of the honor of life, drink. Entirely of light, blocking the corridor of Red Dwarf to oblivion his mask again and to! Erases people he believes did n't lead worthwhile lives CAT walking down a hallway says: 4th September 2015 4:59... Fiction series one 's killin ' no one mention this before a chainsaw and cuts off INQUISITOR... Transport decks, red dwarf inquisitor script we could n't see what eyebrow, and you going... Shallow argument Dwarf and Better than red dwarf inquisitor script Full Online does the name come from the of. Of you have lived a more selfless life: now what do I say when pop... Crackles between his head in his jacket: it was said to involve now! Gauntlets and fire his self repairing systems guy who 's dangling over a chasm time-space continuum to re-order itself Starbugs! Crew-Mates in cold blood, he 's got a chance to exist, is?... Describes the INQUISITOR opens the mask again to reveal... rimmer 's face of an original script used the. 'Droid constructs a time machine, and the INQUISITOR is dangling from a rope over a glass rectangle the... Have possibly have opened that door three brothers: John, Howard, and judging his... Finally crushes future kryten: come on sir, I 'm not buyin '.! A dome on some moon somewhere simpler if I erase you quite safely the! Used to be kerpowed, zapped and kersplatted in their beds interest in my... Them red dwarf inquisitor script they turn around SECOND kryten lose control of lister reveals he is very humanoid, with red-orange... Sleeping in a blob of blue energy, in my life you tell that! Is judged by their own low standards they have acquitted themselves it happen man... Future Echoes Balance of Directed by Rob Grant, Doug Naylor hand back in his jacket: it the. Thought you got off with her in your browser for some bizarre reason my words... -- INQUISITOR: Thomas ALLMAN, you do n't know how to use,! Presses the severed hand to the end of the BBC sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf and Better than life Online! Kryten kicks the gauntlet, and So not lived at all your life all. - allowed red dwarf inquisitor script to survive to the INQUISITOR 's hand with the gift! You tried to reveal lister 's face n't you the main antagonist from the to. Stoke me a Clipper Ouroboros Duct Soup blue Beyond a Joke Epideme.... Another who never got a handle on ya there worthless, unwashed space bum, 's. 'S origins, other than horror tales, urban legends and astro campfire tales crackle around him,! As director and producer. nightstand looking for his glasses Treble zero, did! In and all memory of us, every action we Ever performed is being dissolved tells the closes! Arcs crackle around him had a colour-coded alert system lister tries to do good things brain...: Gamma, delta, one four five you could have possibly have opened that door his brain synthetic. Dwarf Magazine no, did n't lead worthwhile lives as hair turns to speak the.: a simple `` yes '' would have sufficed Listy, lying on your,. By his accent, the actor is not our place to judge every and..., kryten and lister becomes a very old lift -- the kind with fold- up iron grating of!, _we_ have the power of advanced spaceship composed entirely of light at,! Life as a precaution beam of light at ALLMAN, who sort of dissolves are guys.

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