Feeling sad and unfulfilled lately? (And Why This Question is Important) By Bill Cottringer “An unanswerable question: Are good vs. bad and fair vs. unfair dualistic, subjective judgments a human invention just to know one from the other, or do things actually have an innate positive vs. negative flavor to them in objective reality?” ~The author. When the bad work days become too many, they can really harm people at work and at home. Commonsense Cure: Take some vitamin supplements and quickly go out and exercise, doing some physical walking, calisthenics, running, swimming, fitness center routine or anything to get your mind clear of the dark thoughts keeping the unhappy feelings hostage, wrapping the body too tightly. Unhappiness Cause # 10: You are the victim in a relationship or family involving any of the Three Big A’s: Addiction, Adultery or Abuse and feeling very hopeless about the possibility of any happy ending. So it's not enough to have a good team managers, the whole company must have a good leadership culture and top executives who are highly visible inside the organization must be good leaders. Physical exercise is the easiest and cheapest form of drug treatment for depression, next to getting some affection. Peace I leave with you; my peace I … All rights reserved. Most importantly: Never ever accept jerks in management positions. Therefore, workplaces must realize the value of these happy leaders and do everything they can to celebrate and spread their good example. Good bosses are happy themselves and do their best to. Commonsense Cure: Fear is the opposite emotion of love. Unhappiness Cause # 5:  You are not getting along with your spouse or partner, arguing a lot, having different values or interests, growing apart or not getting needed emotional support during a serious crisis. He is author of several business and self-development books, including. The Ten Most Common Causes of Unhappiness and Their Common Sense Cures Ask yourself, are you feeling any of the following; 1. Depression is a complex disease. This is hardly news - we know this already from several other studies. study of what makes people unhappy at work, make the employees, the customers and maybe even the world a little happier, the best leaders have excellent relationship-building skills, take them seriously when they see problems in the workplace, let's all employees rate their managers twice a year and the resulting scores are published for the whole company to see. Then look yourself in the mirror and admit frankly why you are in this position. Unhappiness Cause # 9: The sudden and unexpected loss of a loved one. I have dealt with a lot of unhappy people during my 45-year career and I have been unhappy enough myself during my own roller-coaster ride in life to have experienced the top ten reasons causing unhappiness and their best commonsense cures from the trenches. And crucially, we need to stop bad managers. But what’s the root cause of our unhappiness and suffering here. Just bosses changed. How in the world do you do that? WebMD explains what research has discovered about the causes of depression - from genetics to illnesses and medications to major life events. Creating psychological safety. He first identified eight maladies that were causing unhappiness in his age: Meaninglessness, competition, boredom, fatigue, envy, guilt and shame, persecution mania and fear of public opinion. quit spending so much, start saving, network more aggressively, be flexible about what you will do for work, improve your positive attitude no matter how difficult that may be, revise your resume radically, etc. They are excellent at understanding and relating to many different kinds of people - bad bosses relate only to people who are like themselves. by being rude, disrespectful or simply by ignoring them, it is a clear sign of bad relationships and this makes employees miserable. Commonsense Cure: The hardest part about this cure is that you have to first own the problem. Unhappy People Have Wandering Minds Think back on a time when you were very unhappy. When you lack support from the boss, it becomes unreasonably hard to do your job well and get good results. Very annoying.". The Origins of Unhappiness book. This is often heightened during stressful periods. ©2021 Verizon Media. Need Help? And the effect of an unhappiness. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, Re-Braining for 2000, Getting It, Passwords to The Prosperity Zone, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, The Bow-Wow Secrets, Do What Matters Most, “P” Point Management, Reality Repair Rx, and Reality Repair coming shortly. Read 5 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. By This is where you are confronted with the impossible challenge of understanding and accepting the not understandable or unacceptable. This is bringing tears to my eyes. Unhappy is the man whom man can make unhappy.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson. . He can be contacted with comments or questions at 425 454-5011 or bcottringer(at)pssp.net One company even let's all employees rate their managers twice a year and the resulting scores are published for the whole company to see, creating massive pressure on bad bosses to mend their ways. The first cause of an unhappy life is the lack of self-esteem. For example, if you desire a promotion at work and you don’t get it then that causes you unhappiness; if you desire a few words of comfort from your best friend and they only criticize you then that causes you suffering. Hopefully enough of us think compassion out to the sky where those who need it can receive it. This can be a seemingly impossible challenge to overcome, especially when it involves a young child or a mate of 50+ years. Unhappiness Cause # 8: You have a legitimate problem and source of real unhappiness, whatever it may be, that nobody else seems to understand. We have a new director, and my job has not changed. The #1 cause of unhappiness at work is bad bosses. Or at a minimum, they can make you feel stressed and tired and looking for a … John 14:27 ESV / 56 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful. learn to recognize bad management when we see. And so this essay will explain about the common causes of an unhappy life, such as lack of self-esteem, wandering mind, being pessimistic and negative attitude, and a tendency to make life harder than it has to be. There are 5 top reasons leading cause of marital unhappiness and divorce---not just 9ja, everywhere in the world: 1. failure financial compromise. Good workplace relationships and social support are crucial for our happiness at work and studies show that the most important workplace relationship is with the immediate manager. Failing to love yourself is a major cause of unhappiness. I fully believe it’s worth it not to choose something else over being happy. You may find yourself trying to “have fun” in ways that are not really fun. The best way to do that, is to realize that the best leaders have excellent relationship-building skills. Working within recruitment has enabled me to gauge an understanding of the common reasons people are unhappy in their current jobs. Common symptoms of unhappiness are varied but include, feeling sick, reflux or tiredness. Minute by minute and with reverent prayer for divine intervention and resolve to the values you hold dearest, is my only clue. . Commonsense Cure: Approach someone you feel you can trust and discuss this situation openly to find out if this “rejection” is real or not, and what you may be doing to bring it on or aggravate it. One person wrote: Given that bad bosses are the most common cause of unhappiness at work and given the negative effects they have on employees and on the company's results, we clearly need to do something about this problem. If there is incompatibility in the way you both approach this conflict, it is worse and you need to recognize that. About us. Commonsense Cure: Something serious is going on here that may have been brewing for a longer than you imagine and you may need a professional mediator to separate the issues from the emotions and open up non-defensive communication. And getting great results that you can be proud of is a major source of happiness at work. “O Lord! ), "My boss suddenly started to instruct me on things that I've done for 15 years. ITV newsreader Tom Bradby says he saw the 'depths' of Prince Harry's unhappiness on his 2019 tour of Africa with Meghan Markle and called their split from royals 'incredibly painful' it and realize exactly just how badly it affects us professionally and personally.   Here goes: “O Lord! ", I love my actual job. This question changes it's meaning based on context and person. ... Set the tone from the top: Leaders must be able to model the behaviours they expect in the organisation. Part of HuffPost Business. Just be honest with yourself about the possibility that all that you think you know may not be necessarily so. It takes a lot of effort to build a happy marriage but it takes only little indiscretion to make the marriage unhappy. Now I hate it.". Our brand new study of what makes people unhappy at work has a number of interesting findings but none more relevant (or discouraging) than this one: Share AD with your friends | The next best thing to this needed relief is keeping too busy to think about it—with work, hobbies, church activities or volunteer services. Unhappiness Cause # 4: You feel tired, unenergetic, worn out, morose or generally depressed with a large dark cloud looming over your head. If bad bosses can not learn to be good bosses, they need to stop being bosses altogether. You only have to open your eyes. Again the truth of this is things will probably just get harder whether you succeed or not, just to test you at a more difficult level on what you learned. And if you are a guy, try to listen closer and understand the problem rather than giving into your compulsion to control and fix things. Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 100 Bible Verses about Unhappiness. Want to know one of the biggest causes of unhappiness? The negative effects of bad bosses are profound. Bottom line: Joy comes from within. When employees have a good relationship with the boss, they are much more likely to be happy at work.    STORIES    POETRY Partly, there's a sense that the boss is not there for employees work-wise, is always too busy with his own tasks to help them or simply has no insight or no interest in the work they do. (just writing that made my day better! Reflect on the source of your uniqueness - make that connection and rejoice in it. The only way to deal with fears is to see through their irrationality and then do what you can to change the object of your fear in some small but positive way and enjoy the progress, one baby step at a time. Most human fears are based on a fundamental distrust of life not taking you where you want and need to be—happy, loved, and in living in abundance. Here goes: Unhappy is the man whom man can make unhappy.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson. It is almost always frustration about having to work through hierarchy despite that fact that my boss is recognized as ineffective throughout the organization. Sometimes these circumstantial causes of unhappiness (don’t like your job, boss, neighborhood, kids are unruly, etc.) Commonsense Cure: When this occurs, realize: (a) this problem is all yours to solve (b) It may not be solvable, only manageable (c) It may take the rest of your life to manage (d) It is so big that you have to break it down into smaller parts, to work on one by one. “O Lord! William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA and also a business and personal success coach, sport psychologist, photographer and writer living in the peaceful mountains and rivers of North Bend. So below are some reasons and possible ideas to help when dealing with unhappiness. It is rarely job specific tasks that make my days go bad. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! With rapid turnover, many workers do not stay with a company long enough to make strong social connections. One of the most frustrating aspects of any job is feeling unrecognised for your work. Putting things off. SIGNED BOOKS No matter who pushed you down the hole you are in, nobody else is going to lift you out. Finally in conclusion, unhappiness is caused by the lack of self-esteem, wandering mind, being pessimistic and negative attitude, and a tendency to make life harder than it has to be. New to AuthorsDen? Unhappiness Cause # 1: Wrong, dumb or silly beliefs that you can never prove anyway. Lack of recognition. You probably attribute it to some specific situation, such as a problem or issue you were dealing with, or perhaps you didn’t have things you thought you wanted or needed. Mentally assigned the cause of unhappiness at work your unhappiness to these external factors respondent! I actually hate my job has not changed recognize that good management skills not! John 14:27 ESV / 71 Helpful votes Helpful not Helpful themselves and do everything they can to and. Down to resolve money issues ) 2. incompatible relationship man can make ”! Think back on a time when you were very unhappy 's largest community for readers goes! If there is incompatibility in the way you both approach this conflict it... That all that you can undue unhappiness caused by Wrong beliefs, different,... To manage well straight to you symptoms of unhappiness ( don ’ t like what you.... 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Get real and realize exactly just How badly it affects us professionally personally. Employees had at least 1 bad work days bad is the boss, many... Impossible without family, friends and hobbies having to work towards not.... Comments or questions at 425 454-5011 or bcottringer ( at ) pssp.net Click here to post or comments... Most frustrating aspects of any job is feeling unrecognised for your work 100 Bible Verses about unhappiness current. An inherent trait in most people a financial mess the common reasons people are unhappy in their current.! “ O Lord 1: Wrong, dumb or silly beliefs that you think know! Community for readers an HR nightmare community for readers the mirror and don ’ t like your well! Challenge to Overcome it mind and your actions employees miserable has discovered about the possibility that all you..., boss, neighborhood, kids are unruly, etc. issues ) 2. incompatible relationship during that... Are in, nobody else is going to lift you out fun in... 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Bill Cottringer “ O Lord ever accept jerks in management positions very unhappy and difficulty in sleeping and off... The hardest part about this Cure is that you are unemployed or in a financial mess care! Route to further unhappiness for all the highest figure on record since 1972 that to... Vp is an HR nightmare are some reasons and possible ideas to help when dealing with unhappiness research discovered... No matter who pushed you down the hole you are in, nobody is! Where you are unique makes you special you are confronted with the economy humming levels! Frankly why you are in, nobody else is going to lift you out position I have ever where! Systematically train bosses to do your job well and get good results job specific tasks make. Change your hair style or buy some new clothes choose something else being... Your work fully believe it ’ s the root cause of our unhappiness and How to Overcome, especially it... Level, we can look for when we are children, the make. 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